Why Saying No Is Healthy

– By Dr Nav Ropra.

It can be easy to agree with everything and everyone around you just to keep up appearances and please people.

Saying yes to patients when you mean no, giving pay rises so that staff don’t leave, putting up with lateness can be common examples in practice.

Constantly having to swallow your ‘no’ instead of verbalising it, will cause you to feel uncomfortable and disempowered.  Your management and leadership qualities can become hindered and others will start to expect you to keep on saying yes to them.  Understand the impact being this way is having to your life!

Nearly 93% of communication is non-verbal.  If your mouth saying ‘yes’ and your body still saying ‘no’ then there will be confusion and conflict within you.  Your tone, posture, speech, gestures and eye contact all play a part in communicating with people and this will be noticed by the other person.

‘Constantly having to swallow your ‘no’ instead of verbalising it, will cause you to feel uncomfortable and disempowered.’

There is another way! When you are faced with situations where you automatically agree and then think afterwards, I could have said no, know that is the right time to refocus on high priority action steps instead of making you, them or the situation wrong.

The solution? Thank the emotional message that you are getting when you feel this conflict within you. Appreciate and be grateful for the feedback that your intuition is giving you that you need to grow.  Don’t get stuck with the problem and don’t over react to it either!

Next, look with awareness and explore what your unconscious motives for saying yes may be. Are you seeking acknowledgment, are you looking for respect, are you wanting to be liked by people, do you feel scared, do you feel guilty?

Start creating alternative solutions and things which you can say the next time something similar happens.  Don’t go against your own values or be inauthentic.  Instead, start to honor your own values and at the same time respect the other.

Things which you could say are:

Can I get back to you regarding that one?

I am not sure at the moment.

Let me have a think about it and I will let you know by… (give a time frame)

No.

Slowly and surely, as you gain confidence in saying no, the tensions in the practice and the hidden agendas will start to decrease and you will gain more leadership qualities and respect from your staff, and they from you.

Its only when you are able to say no and authentically have your whole being behind it, that your yes also becomes authentic.

Then you have the freedom to choose.  Then you can respond and not react.  Then you can decide.