Why Positive Thinking Sets You Up For Failure

– By Dr Nav Ropra. 

Have you ever tried to remain positive, only to find that after a short period of time, something happens and you end up feeling negative again?

The perceived emotional pain associated with a negative event(s) can be just as great as the perceived emotional pleasure you have associated with being positive.  Life is geared for balance and equilibrium which embraces both the positive and the negative.  It is impossible to have one without the other, just as it is impossible to be positive without being negative.

That would be like asking a magnet which has both positive and negative poles, to just have a positive pole.  Universal laws and the principles of physics do not allow a magnet to be one sided.  Events according to physics are neither good or bad, they just are.  It is our labels and projections which we place upon people, situations, ideas and events, that cause us to see them as either positive or negative.

‘That would be like asking a magnet which has both positive and negative poles, to just have a positive pole.’

These labels are based upon our values, which are determined by our ‘voids’ or what we perceive as missing in this world.  These ‘voids’ are the driving forces which create the hierarchy of our values or what is important to us.

For example, if as a principal dentist you have associated a staff member and the service they provide to you and your practice as being more positive than negative, then this is an imbalanced perspective.  If that staff member decides to leave for ‘greener pastures’, then you may experience the negative of that imbalanced association and make them or the situation wrong.

‘It is our labels and projections which we place upon people, situations, ideas and events, that cause us to see them as either positive or negative.’

Your staff members do not deserve to be elated or depressed in your mind; they deserve to be in your heart and loved and appreciated for who they are.

How can one do this? A key I have found to resolve this imbalanced perspective is to be grateful for people, situations and events.  When things appear to be going your way, be grateful and when they do not appear to be going your way, be grateful.  It is not easy to do this and this does take time and practice.  The key to a balanced life is a balanced psychology and not living with imbalanced perceptions.

‘Your staff members do not deserve to be elated or depressed in your mind; they deserve to be in your heart and loved and appreciated for who they are.’

I believe that it is very important to have dreams, goals, aspirations, a clearly defined mission and purpose in life which leaves a lasting legacy when you are gone.  Things will come and go in your life which will test your reserve and ability to maintain focus with direction.  Embrace these events and learn to grow through them without negating them or seeing them as more positive or more negative.

‘The key to a balanced life is a balanced psychology and not living with imbalanced perceptions.’

How many times have you gone through a situation which was very tense and stressful at the time, only to find that in months or years afterwards, you look back on the very same situation thanking it for happening as it was the very thing you needed to bring you one step closer to your purpose? Nothing has changed with the situation except your perception of it and that happens when you embrace both the positive and the negative equally.

‘A key I have found to resolve this imbalanced perspective is to be grateful for people, situations and events.’

It is said that wisdom comes from seeing both the positive and negative in anything.  The older one becomes, the more experience one has at doing this.

Why not have that very wisdom during the event so that you do not have to suffer the aging process to learn the lesson.  Seeing both the positive and negative in things and being grateful is called the art of living.

To conclude, positive thinking sets you up for failure as it is an unrealistic concept and will not work.

Instead, be inspired and grateful such that you embrace life in its totality and not negate half of it.