Are You Being Heard?

– By Dr Nav Ropra. 

Does your staff or partner fail to live up to your expectations?

Are you being heard at work?

Want to leave your current job for pastures greener?

Whatever job role or relationship you are in, there will be times when other people simply don’t listen to you or your opinions.  When this happens, you may end up feeling resigned and cynical and it can have a negative effect on your work or your personal life.

Carrying around this emotional working baggage will lead to knee jerk reactions and you may retaliate by doing the very same thing that you perceived they did to you.  This masked behaviour can be very destructive and can make the relationship even more strained and cost you time and money as well as add unnecessary stress.  When this happens, you have not learnt the hidden wisdom in the dynamic.

For example you may want a member of staff to clean instruments and prepare the surgery for the next patient.  If they go off and do another job and leave what you have asked them to do, then as the principal of the practice, this behaviour can be very dis-heartening.  You may feel disrespected and wonder why you are employing this person.  You may want to fire this member of staff and want to get another team member in as a replacement.

If you are an associate dentist and have asked the principal for new or better equipment and they continue not to provide this, then you may end up feeling devalued at work and want to leave for another position elsewhere which does have that equipment.

In relationships, asking your partner to do something for you which goes against their values or beliefs is unwise if you want to sleep well at night.

Beware of getting caught up in these dynamics.  It is better and wiser to deal with these situations and encounter them, than trying to hide them under the carpet, blame the other for how you are feeling or escape elsewhere.

In every interaction, there is a responsibility that you have for that interaction.  Even though we may not like to see it, we are just as much responsible for causing the upset as we perceive the other person to be.  Taking ownership of this is the first step towards personal power.  We all want to be loved, appreciated and accepted for who we are and when others don’t do this, then our defences can be activated and we can isolate. What determines if we decide to deal with these situations or run away and hide from them are our values.

We all have a set of values which are unique to us.  They are so unique, that they can be attuned to being as specific as fingerprints or retinal pattern.  They determine how we think about things and act upon things in the world.  If we are unclear on what our values are, this causes the uncertainties in the communication with others and in our own personal lives and relationships.

Asking the other person to fulfil our expectations without being certain on what it is we are asking them is nothing less than being delusional!

Finding out what your values are is the key to self Mastery and the journey of inner discovery.